Just mADE A PArabola og urine
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
