There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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