So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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