just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
