my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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