guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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