ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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