No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
