I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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