If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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