The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
