My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
People in love make me want to vomit
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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