he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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