mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
