That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
