Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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