i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
