My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
