Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
