I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
