Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
