I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
