Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
