you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
