I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
