Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
