call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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