You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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