hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
