He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
