I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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