You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
