1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
