So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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