38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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