sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
