Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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