I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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