You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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