where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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