S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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