Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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