where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Terrible idea I love it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
