Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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