Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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