i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found your dick twin last night
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
