what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
