I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
