I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
