so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
