Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
