I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
